James Post # 6 – James 1:19-22

Today’s study includes one of my favorite Bible verses.  I have shared it with many people in various life situations and always try to share it with young couples preparing for marriage.  Other times it has been helpful to folks who have been married for many years but want to make their marriages even better.  But most important for me is the way this verse speaks to me about my own “issues”.  It applies to many facets of life outside of marriage as well.  I’ve often said that this verse could solve a ton of different relationship issues whether with family, friends, business associates or whomever.  Before I get carried away maybe I should let you read this powerful sentence.  You’ll find it in James 1:19. 20.

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”

These two verses are loaded!  Did you notice that the first thing James says here is “Hey, listen up!  This stuff is important!”  Well, maybe he didn’t use those exact words but that is what he meant.  As we expand on the meaning behind this one sentence I think you’ll agree that “This stuff is important!”  The very next thing we read is that this advice, direction, or guidance is for “everyone”.  I have often heard this comment after a powerful message in church.  “Boy I sure wish ‘so & so’ could have heard this message.”  If we were honest I bet many of us have had that thought even as we sat and listened to a message in church.  If we were totally honest I bet sometimes we were even sitting next to our spouse and thinking “I hope he/she is listening to this?”  It’s so easy to think that the other guy is the one with the problem but right here James is saying, this is for you!  So let’s all make a point to “listen up” and see how we might apply these principles in our own lives.

The first principle we read is to “be quick to listen”.  Now this doesn’t mean ‘hear’, it means ‘listen’.  The big difference is that when you ‘listen’ you pay attention to what’s being said.  To ‘hear’ is just an automatic thing and only means that the sound is getting into your brain through those wonderful scoops God created on either side of our heads.  When I taught music in the Middle School and was trying to explain this difference I used to ask my students if they could hear when they were asleep.  I got different answers but many of them told me that they didn’t think you could hear when you slept.  Then I’d ask them what woke them up in the morning?  Sometimes it was “my mother” and others would say “my alarm clock”.  Then I’d make the point that they had to be hearing while asleep if those sounds woke them.  Then we’d talk about the fact that hearing just happens all the time but listening occurs when we focus our attention or think about what we are hearing.

Sorry, that was one of my Middle School flashbacks.  The doctor said they would fade after my retirement but it hasn’t happened yet.  (Just kidding)  But the illustration does point out that listening means really paying attention to the other person.  James is saying that should be our first response when someone is talking to us.  We shouldn’t allow ourselves to be distracted by anything else.  The other person is trying to communicate something and we should be “quick to listen” to them, paying attention to what they are saying.  Yes, that means turning down the TV or radio, looking up from the screen on your computer, laptop, iPad, cell phone, video game, book, newspaper…..you getting the picture?  The other person needs to know that they have your attention.  That you value them and want to really listen to what they have to say.

The second principle is to be “slow to speak”.  Now this one hits me right between the eyes.  I am a ‘fixer’.  I don’t know if it’s just a part of my personality or if I developed that trait over the years of teaching public school children?  I try to come up with solutions to problems when I hear about them.  At the very least I like to mull ideas over in my head (or out loud) as soon as I hear the problem.  I think you can see how this creates problems with communication.  It says to the other person that I have a better idea.  When a person is sharing more details about their problem you are already thinking of what to say next which means you really aren’t listening anymore.  Here’s a confession on my part and it may be something you experience (or do) as well.  I often find myself completing my wife’s sentences while she is still in mid-sentence.  Guess what?  Most of the time I’m wrong in what I try to interject.  Not only that, it is telling her that I am more interested in ‘fixing’ than I am in truly ‘listening’.  Guilty as charged!  I try not to do this but it still happens once in a while (my opinion) and I will continue to work on being a better listener. 

Here’s the weird thing.  Many of us do this with God.  We are dealing with someone or something and sort of thinking out loud about what to do.  We even start problem solving actions before we even have all the information.  What I’m trying to say is that we often get ahead of God.  We don’t take the time to open His Word to see if there isn’t some guidance for us from Him there.  We don’t take the time to pray or even just stay quiet in His presence for a while so He can reach out to us.  No, we grab the wheel and say “I’ve got this one, Lord.  You can take a break.”  Isn’t it true?  Don’t we sometimes get in the way of what God is trying to tell us or do with or through us?  Scripture reminds us to “be still and know that I am God” (Ps. 46:10).   For me that’s God’s way of saying, “Bob, will you just shut up and listen?!”  We need to be “slow to speak” to not only hear better what is being said but to show the other person that we value them and what they are saying.  Remember that sometimes that “person” is God Himself.  Ouch!  Don’t be too quick with your “words of wisdom”.  Make sure you are listening first.  Or you might say it this way…set yourself on ‘receive’ before you get ready to ‘transmit’.

The third principle in this passage is to be “slow to become angry”.  Anger often results in losing control or saying something you wish you could retract later.  Once it’s out of your mouth the damage is done, so be careful.  Sometimes there are things that stir your ire.  Things that will cause you to become upset and that’s not necessarily all bad.  The problem starts when (1) we jump to conclusions too quickly and (2) when we lose control or as an old Baptist preacher once said, “You forget that you should always engage your brain before activating your mouth.”  I loved Pastor Norm.  He was a man of great wisdom and a lot of good, old common sense.  Be sure you know the facts before you rush to judgement and especially before you get upset.  So many times the problems that fester and explode between two people are based on misinformation or misunderstanding of what was said or done.  What purpose is your anger serving?  Your own or Gods?  What does He say about it?  Here’s one verse regarding anger that contains some great advice for all of us.  It’s found in Philippians 4: 26, 27 - “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”  Think about the implications of that.  When we harbor ill will or bad feelings or anger and let it fester overnight Satan has his foot in the door.  He’s got your attention, even if it’s just a little bit, and he can capitalize on that if we aren’t really careful.

If you find yourself in the situation where you are headed to bed with something gnawing at your insides why not take a few minutes to try and talk it out with our spouse.  It may be a problem with yourself and you need to talk with God about it.  Even if you tell Him that you are really angry about something.  He already knows!  I’ve actually had people say, “I can’t tell God that!”  I quickly remind them that nothing they say will cause God to reply, “Boy I didn’t see that coming!”  Makes you laugh doesn’t it?  Of course God knows what you are thinking and what has happened and what you are feeling.  The point is you need to talk with Him about it and ask Him to help you deal with it.  Don’t “give the devil a foothold” but instead, like the old hymn says, “Take it to the Lord in prayer.”  It’ll make a real difference and just might give you a better night’s sleep too!

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”

What a world it would be if we all followed these simple words.  These are awesome words when applied to a marriage or family relationship: listen a lot, speak a little, and don’t lose your temper!  It isn’t that hard to do, but you’ve got to be serious about applying these three principles in your daily life with all those whom you come into contact with.  And remember, talk to God about whatever is “bugging” you.  He already knows and He wants to help.  You’ll notice that the final phrase of today’s scripture addresses the fact that our anger doesn’t serve God’s purposes or help us to be the people He wants us to be.  In the words of James “man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”  Let’s remove that stumbling block from our relationship with Him by working on improving our relationship with each other by following these 3 great guides: (1) be quick to listen, (2) be slow to speak, and (3) be slow to become angry.  Give it a try and, if you want, let me know how it works for you.  Just leave a comment at the bottom of the page and I’ll be sure to see it.  I may even share it with our other readers.  Have a blessed day and, as always, thanks for taking the time to join me in this walk through James.  Don’t forget…everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.  What great words to live by.  So long for now.